Breaking A Cultural Norm

Morgan Smith

Breaking A Cultural Norm

            When initially given the assignment of “breaking a cultural norm,” my mind immediately filled with thoughts of how others would respond, how my friends world react, and how classmates would act.  My initial focus was on how violated I would feel, but even more so than that, the word “alone” resonated within my mind.  I thought to myself, “As long as I can do this with the company of a friend, everything will be okay, and maybe I will not feel so alone… alone… alone.”  Although I had allowed my mind to wonder way too far for this assignment, simply having this thought process drew it to my attention of how many people feel on a daily basis. 

            While I most definitely broke a cultural and social norm, I chose to break a norm that was laughable and amusing.  One random Tuesday night, I pulled out my fancy dress and high heels that I wore to my high school prom, and I gave them a night out on the town.  My boyfriend and I went to Kroger to grab some groceries and then we went to Chick-fil-a for dinner.  Although the prom dress attire might be acceptable for an elegant dinner in Atlanta on a Friday night, I was definitely over-dressed for the routine outing of grocery shopping on a school night.  I could feel people staring and whispering, and trying to figure out where I was headed and why I was so dressed up.  My boyfriend wore a t-shirt and jeans, which added to the confusion and perplexed looks that we received.  When we ordered our food at Chick-fil-a, the sweet lady who took our order asked if I had big plans for the night.  I politely told her that I did not have a fancy party to attend, but that I just wanted to wear a pretty dress to dinner.  She smiled and complimented my dress, but she could not hide the puzzled look on her face.  I, too, felt awkward and out of place.  I was so ready to change back into jeans simply because I felt that that would make me “fit in” with the crowd. 

            I chose to break this cultural norm because even though I knew it would draw unwelcomed attention, I felt that it might not provoke too many negative stares and comments.  Although I was correct to an extent, I still felt uncomfortable and I was ready to go back to the comfort of my home.  From this experience, I realized first hand what it feels like to be “different.”  Although there is nothing wrong with wearing a large puffy dress to dinner at a fast food restaurant, it is not considered to be “normal” according to the culture and society in which we live. 

            Sensoy and DiAngelo’s book, Is everyone really equal?, defines the term culture as “the norms, values, practices, patterns of communication, language, laws, customs, and meanings shared by a group of people located in a given time and place” (Sensoy and DiAngelo, 2012, p. 183).  The reading encouraged me to have more of an open mind and to gain knowledge concerning controversial and sensitive topics.  Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but we should be open and accepting of different ideas, perspectives, and facts before racing to a judgmental conclusion.  The text also led me to realize that I should not be so quick to blame or associate a habit or behavior with one’s culture.  While people of other cultures may participate in customs that are not considered to be normal or routine within my own personal culture, that does not mean that one culture is correct and the other is wrong.  On the surface level, it might appear that we are very different from people who grew up in a different area of the world and practice differing cultural norms.  But in reality, we are all quite similar and experience similar feelings of wanting to fit in and be accepted. 

References

Sensoy, O., & DiAngelo, R. (2012). Is everyone really equal? New York, NY: Teachers College

          Press.